How To Win Her Back

Posts Tagged ‘emotional backstabbing’

Everyone loses when a spouse gives themselves in the most intimate ways possible for a man and woman. In this day and age affairs are treated in a lighthearted manner. There is almost an air of entitlement. Somehow the cheating is just part of today’s lifestyle.

Cheaters leave a trail of evidence. The may tell you the alvarez acoustic guitar was a gift you picked up for your bosses son and he reimbursed you with cash. The digital sport watch she purchased online was for a coworkers birthday party and everyone is contributing. There are new cosmetics in the bathroom along with a selection of bath and body products you have never seen before.

Some worried mates check the cell phone records online daily. Some will routinely check the history trail on the computer. Suspicion increases with mounting changes in behavior like paying more attention to their appearance. Is the Nintendo bundle the most exciting feature of your bedroom?

Confronting them with questions and no proof will expose you to more humiliation. She can call you on her cell phone and tell you she loves you while she is on her way to share herself with her lover. Make no mistake about it; the cheating spouse will not hesitate to belittle your concerns.

Eventually she will be caught and then you have to decide what you will do. Oddly enough lots of couples can survive this physical graffiti being applied to their wedding vows. The cheating may help identify unmet needs in your relationship. She will have to be honest with you about whether this affair was purely physical or was she in love.

Whatever the response is you will not have an easy time making this relationship work. In the first few days she may be experiencing tremendous relief and appear cooperative. She will need to sever all connections to her lover. She needs to provide you with proof of her whereabouts until you quit asking. She must accept that you will never trust her again. You may forgive her but please do not think you are ever going to accept her word at face value.

She will have a period of weeks or months that the urge to contact her lover will be overwhelming. You will have to insist that she acknowledge your shattered trust. She will have to understand that she will have to be far more accountable to her spouse. This will mean checking in and being checked on.

Together you may be able to overcome this relationship killer but realize that it will not happen overnight. This will take hard work and time to heal properly. Find an effective counselor and try to repair the damage if you value the relationship and especially if children are involved.

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