Posts Tagged ‘marriage therapy’
How to look for a marriage counselor
Life, plenty of good times, but of course some bad times as well. Kind of ironic that a source of great joy can also be a source of great pain.
Where else do you have such great experiences like friendship and love.Or the pleasures of your friends and family. So many joys you can even count them all. Where else but in life.
But there will be also in life a lot of sorrows. Pains such as death, sicknesses, or wars to name a few.One of those tough times will be a marriage going through troubles.What was meant to be a relationship full of joyful experiences into a painful one.
But there is hope.A lot of times marriages could be saved through therapy. In my experience a marriage counselor in San Diego I would like to help you in finding a good marriage counselor.
One of the hardest things for a couple or for anyone is to get help from somebody. Especially something as intimate as a troubled relationship. So here are a few things to look for to find good marriage counseling San Diego.
First, counselors will have diverse styles and personalities.When you talk to a prospective counselor ask them about their counseling style.You want to be positive that your personality fits.
Second counselors will have special training for different areas.Obviously when you have a couple going through some problems they will be different than what another couple may have.So you probably will want a counselor who has gone through situations like yours with other couples.
Finally, you want to see if your therapist in San Diego specializes in marriage counseling. There are going to be therapists that help in a lot of areas. But you might want to find one who focuses on marital problems. They might have enough experience to save your marriage.
For something as serious as trying to save a relationship you want to find the best help.Lastly the decision will be yours to make. You will want to find a good counselor.But what you want to come out of it will be largely what determines the outcome.
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The Need for Marriage Therapy
Marriage is often called the sacred union.As it should be.Because when the new married couple says “I do” what they are saying is they will be together till death do them part.Even when times get bad, during sickness and poorer.
Obviously you noticed that the health and richer part I didn’t include. Because often times, those times are the easy.
But whatever the situation, if you are having marriage troubles, keeping the marriage healthy and happy does become a struggle. It is during this time a family therapist San Diego might be the best option.
Because if the problems start to happen too often, it will probably be headed to a divorce. Problems such as fighting, not trusting, no intimacy, despising each other, etc.
When these things do start happening, the most important thing the couple should do is seek a marriage counselor. why? Because although a couple may not feel like it is, most marriage therapists have seen it all.And from that experience is what they use to help those marriages in trouble.
So why does it help to have marriage therapy or couples therapy? Well I would like to share some insights from my experience as a San Diego marriage therapist.
Several factors starting with safety. A good therapist is able to provide the troubled couple with an environment that a couple can feel safe in.An environment that is different from where all the fights happen.
This prevents the usual angry or hysterical outbursts that occur in a familiar environment.
Second, as mentioned before, they have experience.This presents an opportunity for the therapist to share with the couple his experience of whether what they are going through is normal.
Third, they can help with communications.Often that is usually one of the big reasons for a troubled marriage. When trouble happens, each person usually becomes defensive and the line of communication becomes difficult. The therapist can help open those lines.
Fourth, they will be helpful to the couples in regards to problem solving skills.Obviously, there are issues.And the more prepared the husband and wife is, the easier it will be to solve their differences.
Finally, they can help the couple to understand the situation. They do this through helping them in listening, sharing feelings that may be difficult to express, and then interpret it all.
As you can see, when the marriage is in trouble, the best way to save it is through therapy.If you are in a situation like this, go seek professional help. Take it from my experience doing marriage counseling San Diego.
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Learn when it is time for Marriage Counseling
In a perfect world, after a couple says “I do” they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world we live in. And a lot of times, after the wedding day, that is when trouble happens.
Whatever the cause, the couple’s happy and blissful relationship all of a sudden turns cold and bitter.
In this article, I am going to draw on my experience as a family counselor San Diego to help a couple decide, when is it time for a couple to seek marriage counseling.
Arguments, disagreements, and fights do happen. It is bound to happen in most marriages.But there is a time when the couple needs to look at whether or not this is normal or part of everyday life.Or if what is going on is not normal and time to seek help.
Because if you leave a problem within the marriage unchecked, this could be the beginning of a horrible divorce.
So for couples seeking to keep their marriage, here are some key signs to look for and decide if marriage counseling San Diego is needed.
The first sign is bickering, do you guys bicker a lot?Do insignificant things cause arguments? Although seemingly insignificant, this could be the start of something that turns bigger.
Second, do you find you don’t have anything nice to say about each other? This is an indicator that there is contempt for each other that you are holding and that is not profitable.
A third issue to look at is do you find the level of respect between the two of you is gone?In all relationships, there must be a level of respect.
Fourth sign, is there a loss of intimacy with each other?This isn’t just talking about sex, although sex is a part of it.Does is seem like the two of you aren’t as close as you once were?
Fifth, are you happier when your spouse is not around?This sign is not good and the beginning of a break up.
Sixth thing to look at have you lost trust of one another? One of the most important things for a married couple is trust.When your most intimate moments are going to be lived and shared with, there has to be trust.
Finally, has there been unfaithfulness between one of you? This seems simple and obvious.Sometimes when this does occur, unfortunately some couples choose to ignore it rather than try to deal with the issues.
Of course there are a bunch of other signs to look for. But these are some big ones when deciding if it is time to seek a marriage counselor in San Diego.
If these are some of the things you are experiencing, and to find a way to save your marriage is your goal.You have to look for professional advice so you can find a way to work out these issues.
Often times, a third viewpoint can help immensely and that is where a family counselor can help.
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Reviewing Divorces And Counseling
According to statistics, divorces are down. This is due in part because the economy is so bad that people have to stick it out just to keep their heads above water. The cost of a divorce is, on average, between $10,000 and $20,000. In fact, divorce has become a $28-billion-per-year industry that includes lawyers, courts and divorce counselors alike. To avoid the financial and emotional toll of this lasting decision, try seeking the help of mental health counselors, marriage therapists or credit counselors first.
Divorces are frequently caused by financial hardship. Therefore, the counselors who could help most are often skilled in financial planning. “I’ve never seen a case in my 18 years of doing this where there hasn’t been a reason to have hope,” said Karin Maloney Stifler, a certified financial planner from Hudson, OH. She said she sees a lot of couples who are affluent but failed to save up a sufficient enough nest eggs to keep them afloat during tough economic times. Karyn Pistone, a financial planner from Beachstone, says she counsels a lot of people who are big spenders, often reaching beyond their means with credit and winding up in massive debt. The advisors say the best marriage therapy is in forming common goals and a united plan for spending and saving.
Another option is to attend divorce counseling with mental health counselors, rather than attorneys. “Divorce counseling” is sort of a misleading term because it’s intended to smooth the divorce process, rather than prevent it. If you’ve tried seeing licensed counselors and realize that there’s no other alternative, then divorce counseling can help avoid an expensive and hotly contested court battle. Often divorced couples feel deep resentment over property or the kids, which can be avoided by seeking divorce assistance. With therapeutic help, couples can gain a sense of closure and prepare for their separate futures. They’ll gain help deciding upon property division, child custody/visitation, child rearing and coming to a fair agreement.
Abandonment, abuse and adultery are certainly grounds for divorces. Finances, intimacy and boredom are things that could be fixed through counseling for couples. Even though relationships are viewed as personal affairs, it can help to have an impartial party helping to uncover and resolve your conflicts. There are certain strategies for problem solving, expressing discontent and promoting a healthy relationship that trained, licensed counselors can offer.
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