Posts Tagged ‘relationship advice’

Healing Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be subtle and it has long-term effects to the person who has experienced constant criticism and accusation. If you have been in an abusive relationship, it would really be hard for you to accept your condition or fix the damage that is caused by emotional abuse. This article will help you identify the problem and work over it.
You would be developing behavioral patterns like remaining aloof, having a low self-esteem and confidence and will make you hate yourself. This is prone to depression and anxiety. The picture of you being abused will linger in your thoughts. You will be carrying this burden throughout your life and it wouldn’t be easy for you.
Emotional abuse can be traumatizing. You have to deal with this too. You would think if only there is something that you can eat that would make it vanish forever! But it does not work that way. It’s really that you have to do the work to re frame your memories and re-shape your mindset.
Here are some steps to help you move on:

 

  • Acceptance is the key! You must accept the face that you have been abused. You will get nowhere if your mind is set into believing that abusive behavior is normal.
  • Stop feeling guilty and blaming everything to yourself!. You are not responsible for the abusive behavior of your partner.
  • What has happened; has happened. In your life, there are bad chapters that you should try to forget.
  • Be confident to yourself and realize your self worth.
  • Love yourself for what you are and try to remember the kind of person you are before.

 

You really can’t make a conscious decision to “forget” your past because healing will come with time. If you think counseling is necessary, then find a good counselor. In time you may find someone else to share your experiences with, but that’s not something you should focus on while you’re healing.

What you can do is use the information in your past to help you with your future. Healing emotional abuse requires patience and trust to yourself and others who can help you. Things would be easier if you are willing to change things in a positive way.

It is important for you to realize that you have to move on and do what you want in your life.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship

 

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How to Deal with Interpersonal Conflict?

Do you feel like your are allways  avoiding conflicting situations?

Are you feeling pushed to accept a deal where you don’t get your needs met?

Today I want to discuss with you how to deal with conflicting situations instead of avoiding them. You are also going to learn more ways on how to deal with handling issues and find solutions in every conflict that you encounter.

What if there are more ways of dealing with conflict? What if you could use these opportunities to strengthen and deepen your relationships adding a deep feeling of connection, more meaning and sense of satisfaction?

You may think that avoiding conflict situation to keep the peace.

But the question is, do you feel happy deep inside? Or you are just giving up your own needs of recognition and affection, in exchange of ‘peace’?

Here are some thoughts while dealing with conflictive situations:

  • You have to be able to give in once in a while. It is fair for the both of you.
  • Just agreed to avoid the silent treatment.
  • It is best to calm things down.
  • It is worse hearing the same things over and over again so avoid bringing up the past.

It just seems so easy to ignore the problems or just accept them, than trying to do something about your differences. Specially when you don’t know how to approach the situation and get something positive out of it.

Over the time, by acting like that, you fall  into the habit of blindly accepting the situations, and their partner expects that that is the way you are going to react so they continue doing what they have always done. At your expenses..

Unfortunately, these unresolved issues tend to bulid up inside you and at the end there will be so much accumulate resentment it will be too late for you to save your relationship.

Small differences arise between people in their everyday lives. Both of you should be willing to commit to the resolution that you have made. Conflict can save your relationship If things are done in a thoughtful manner…

Meanwhile, you can wait for your next lesson, coming to your inbox soon!

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast?
Visit our site Positive Conflicts , And get your copy of The Art of Positive Conflicts

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Expressing Anger in a Controlled Way

How do you express your anger?

  • Your get “Hotheaded” and more intensely cursing and throwing things
  • You do not show anger in loud ways but you are chronically irritable and grumpy
  • Or constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments

The choices above simply shows are a sign that you are lacking more constructively means express your anger. This beaviour isn’t likely to lead to many successful relationships.
It is hard to express anger in a controlled manner. Usually the tendency for most is to explode and rant on.
To some extent, you can do things that will take your mind off the anger.
But do you think walking out of the situaton a healthy way? It is important to express your anger because it will pile up inside you.
Why is it important to express anger? If your anger is not allowed as an outward expression, it can turn inward—on yourself. Rather than confronting them, he gets back at people indirectly, without telling them why. Or displaying hostile and cynical behavior. Worst-Case scenario would be : hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Here are some simple ways to control your anger :

  • By expressing you can say what your needs are, and how to get them, without hurting others.
  • You can suppress your anger by converting it into a more constructive behavior or redirecting and focusing on something positive.
  • You can calm down by controlling your inward and outward behavior, let the feelings subside to avoid health related problems

Remember that anger is a completely normal, human expression of emotion. It can turn into a destructive, unhealthy situation when it gets out of control.

Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Try to forgive the person who wronged you.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? Visit: Positive Conflicts, And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

You may also want to check out : Anger Management On Line for your online anger management class

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The Magic Of Making Up System Review

Everyone has gone through some form of a break-up at one time or another. While no one hopes for a relationship to go bad, it is something that happens. However, you do not have to give up hope on the love of your life as there are ways for you to get that special someone back into your life. The Magic of Making Up claims to have just what you need to get your lover back in your arms.

When you download this system, you will have instance access to a step by step love recipe. Even though you will notice these aren’t your conventional methods, they will help you get back together. What’s the worst that can happen? You end up right back where are… single.

There are countless ways you can benefit from The Magic of Making Up according to this system. First off, it will help you get focused and recompose yourself. There is no question that break-ups can be painful. However, sobbing over this emotional pain and depression is going to get you no where. You will read just what you need to instantly feel better about the situation.

Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, there are reasons that people separate from each other. There is a single reason why most men leave women and it is not because of beauty, sex or a sexier face. You will find the answer to this question along with the single facet that women crave the most. This can help you solve the answer to why your special someone left you.

It might sound crazy, but there are times when and when not to tell the other person you are sorry. Granted, sometimes it just takes one whole-hearted apology to get back together, but other times the apology can do more harm than good. This is why it’s extremely important to soak in all this information.

The next worry on the list is whether or not your ex still cares about you. It can be difficult to tell and hard to handle. The Magic of Making Up provides you with the TELL TALE clues your ex leaves behind to remind you they still care.

One thing that you have to realize is that these things are going to take time. No matter what you do typically you are not going to get that person back overnight. It will take time, and making sure that you have The Magic of Making Up will certainly help you in your quest to get that special someone back.

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The Negative Effects of Passive Aggressive Behavior in a Relationship

Do you feel unhappy eventhough you are with someone whom you are supposed to be intimate with? Do you feel that your relationship becomes stressful and hard to deal with?
There could be contributing factors in your relationship with your partner that puts you in an unhappy state. Your partner might be in a matured relationship with you but it is also possible that he has some unresolved issues that makes him hard to deal with. You partner might also never learnt how to accept and manage his anger. You must know the reason why your relationship is in a chaotic situation, if you fail to do so, chances are you will have a hard time dealing with your partner and your relationship as a whole.
In this article, you will realize if you are dealing with passive aggressive partner. This will help you understand your relationship with your partner. If you are able to understand his past, you can regain your integrity and self-respect.
Here are some signs of a person who has a PA behavior:
– Acts passive but aggressively gets what he wants – Agrees up front then doesn’t do what he agreed to and make things complicated in the end – Strikes his anger indirectly – Gets out of the situation where there is confrontation and criticism over an issue – Complaining about anything and thinks deeply how his life is being cursed
A passive aggressive person are emotionally unavailable and they usually do not get very close to anyone. They tend to reject emotional intensity and would find comfort by their inner isolation.
Emotional and contradictory messages can confuse you eventhough you try to be patient and understanding. They blame you for making them angry. As a result, you feel dismissed, ignored and rejected. You do not know how to handle and react on a conflicting situation. If you are in a negative environment, your ability to decide can be affected.
Some situation does not improve because your parner tries to confuse and brainwash you. Over time, you will find yourself violent towards your partner as well, which was not part of your behavior before.
Do you want to be happy in a relationship?

If you answer YES, then you should understand that his reactions have nothing to do with YOU! He would react to whoever tries to enter into his private world. Intimacy and emotional compromise with any woman is what a passive aggressive person fears and not you. When conflict appears, you should know where you stand so you can decide what to do with your life.

To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Get your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship
before I take it off line!

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How to Stop Uncontrolled Anger from Destroying a Loving Relationship

Is it any wonder that your strong emotion of anger may hurt, destroy, and poison a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of being overcome by it? Yes- if you start changing your attitude in mind. You must stop making an excuse for your negative temper. You must bear in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true colors. Anger is a negative emotion and it shatters relationship and breeds violence.

Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”

If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.

To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must learn how to control your anger by applying practical methods in your daily life.

To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an early stage before it gets worse.

These are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:

  • Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
  • Threatening others
  • Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
  • Feeling rejected
  • Withdrawal from friends
  • Loss of temper

So what is the best solution?

You should find out what triggers your anger and then develop strategies to control your anger.

You may also want to ask yourself these questions :

Is your anger important or reasonable enough?

Is it possible that you are responsible for making the situation complicated?

Some ways to help you control your anger:

Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you

  • Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like   exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
  • It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
  • Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
  • Use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
  • Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
  • Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.

Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts
You may also want to check out this online anger management class

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How Can Anger Destroy Your Relationship?

Happiness, as we all know, come from the relationship around you.
Experience tells you that It’s not easy to build a lasting relationship. Somewhere along the road, things will get in the way and you find yourself unable to maintain  your relationship.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a strong emotion. It is one thing that is going to do some damage whether you choose to express it or hold it.
What if you have ever loved someone who has never learned to adjust in his surroundings? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
There are situations in a relationship where one becomes really angry or always gets angry on anything and it creates a need to try to control everything. Anger can damage a relationship. Anger results to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely.

But ask yourself:
Does this help our relationship healthy?

Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:

  • Anger can quickly destroy a relationship that has been good for a long time.
  • Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected by anger.
  • Anger can affect anything especially love, self esteem and trust.
  • - Anger is not a peaceful emotion, it is full of uncertainty and fear, you’ll never know what happens next – Anger makes you say and do things that you will regret for the rest of your life.

If there is too much anger in your present situation or if you are in a relationship with someone who is easily angered, then perhaps you should start thinking if you still have an intimate life with your partner.Because being in a critical situation will make you unhappy and cause more ill feelings towards your partner and eventually would destroy your intimacy.
Trust and honesty can be destroyed by anger so easily and it wears off intimacy in your relationship. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance are the causes of anger and it can destroy a loving relationship.

Anger results to negative feelings.

Intimacy vanishes in a relationship if there is constant blaming and criticizing.

Accept and understand eachother to protect a truly valuable emotional bond that you have invested. Do not allow yourselves to erupt without talking what should be done to make things clear. Instead, find ways to discuss it in a civilized manner with a clear mind and open heart.

To your happiness!
Neil Warner,

PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts


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Top 10 Signs You Have a Cheating Spouse

Do you wonder if your spouse is cheating? Here are 10 signs your partner may be having an affair. These  do not always  mean that they are cheating. However too many of these are a good indication that something is going on. If you see these happening, you should talk to your partner about it. You need to have a spiritual advisor, or close friend, speak with them if you already have trust issues in your relationship. Although these do not necissarily mean someone is cheating, it could be a sign of guilt over something. There is not a specific order to these.

Be aware of these 10 signs of a cheating spouse:

1. Evasive about whom they are spending time with
—a major signal of cheating is evasiveness over who they are spending time with. If someone is cheating, he or she will try to keep you in the dark about whom they are with.

2.  Unusual Attention to Appearance—sudden changes in attitude towards their appearance is a sign of something changing. When they go to run errands, do they spend more time getting dressed up? Have they suddenly made a drastic change in clothing, or hairstyle, with no reason for why?

3. Finding receipts for gifts you never received — finding receipts for gifts you, never received such as flowers or jewelry is a big sign of something going on.  They may be hidden for later, but often this is a sign that they were for someone else.

4. Intimacy Changes—There are a lot of ways this will change. If they suddenly have no interest in intimacy, or suddenly start wanting to try new things, this could be a bad sign for your relationship

5. Unusual Time away from Home — if your spouse suddenly working more, but no signs of it in their pay, you may need to be concerned. Are they having to go out of town or spending late nights at the office? Make sure you contact coworkers and find out if they really are working extra time.

6. Breaking promises —if your spouse suddenly is changing plans, and cannot keep home commitments, you need to question why. This does not mean every time, but if is suddenly becomes a normal habit, it is a sign of something fishy going on.

7. Suspicious calls —pay attention to suspicious phone calls. Do they make a habit of hanging up off the phone suddenly whenever you walk in the room? Do they get a lot of calls and have to leave the room to take them? When your partner is having an affair, they will try to hide who they are talking with.

8. Trust your Instincts —Believe in your inner guidance. If it tells you something is going on, look into it. Make sure it is intuition and not just a jealous fear from a past relationship.

9. Finding contraceptives, even though you do not use them —finding a box of condoms, or contraceptives, even though you do not use them, is a bad sign. If you find these, you need to confront your spouse quickly.

10. Hiding computer chats —if your partner is spending a lot of time chatting on the computer, but has to shut it off and delete any messages when you walk in the room, this is very suspicious. IF they cannot trust you to find out what they are chatting about, you need to be wary of who they spend time with online.

These are not definitive. However, if you see half or more of these signs in your relationship, you need to start looking into the possibility of an affair. Once you know these 10 signs of a cheating spouse, you will know if your marriage is in trouble. take time to learn all you can when dealing with infidelity. You want to be sure that you are right before accusing your spouse of cheating.

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How to decide to make up or move on

One of the hardest choices you will have to decide is wether or not to just move on or try to makeup.It is a tough choice.  Of course you only have that decision if the other person broke up.If you were left still with feelings for the other person it will be a very hard decision for you to make.But really you need to take a look and see if it could have been your fault. Or was your lover really not prepared to settle down.

In this article just assume that it was something that you had done.  Maybe you cheated on them.Or maybe you just weren’t truthful a lot of times.  Or maybe you were too smothering. There are a lot of reasons.But a quite a few of the times a break up can be salvaged.  You just have to learn how to get ex back.  There are techniques that work.

Where are these techiques to be found.  If you do a search on the internet you will find that there a lot of resources.  Some of those resources are free.But some of the techniques you learn about are going to cost money.  You can find all kinds of material that can show you how to get ex boyfriend back.  Or you can find materials that show how to get your ex girlfriend back.  Best thing is to look at the material.If it sounds like a method that can work give it a try.

But you can also look at the paid options.There are a few good ones you out there.  Things that teach you how to get ex girlfriend back are all around. One of the good things about it is you can see if they have some testimonials.You can check and see if it comes with a guarantee.  If your relationship is something you value it may be worth it.  After all, if it doesn’t work, the guarantee will help you get your money back.In that situation you don’t have much to lose.But if it ends up working you will have gained everything.

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“How do I clear out the past heartaches so I can allow in love? ”

Free Video Reveals #1 Love Secret

Nanette Geiger, Law of Attraction Relationship Specialist , writes… …

Donna from North Carolina wrote me to ask me that question As a Law of Attraction relationship coach, here’s the relationship advice I have for her. Donna, Congratulations that you realize how critical it is to release the past before a love relationship can come in.

The Law of Attraction states “you attract more of what you focus on.” Before we can welcome in our new love relationship, clearing out the past and healing old wounds is necessary. They take up emotional space. It’s impossible to occupy a space when that space is already taken. You’d never try to park your car in a spot that already had a car there.. Then why try to have a successful relationship when holding onto hurts or grudges from the past?

You can get online Law of Attraction relationship coaching to teach you how to create emotional space as a way of clearing that out. You want to look at what energy you’re holding about the hurt. Also you’ve got a belief that is running in the background that doesn’t serve you. Once you clear out that stuck energy pattern, you’ll be able to say ‘yes’ to love..

You may have a smile on your face and be dressed to the nines with a smile on your face, but you’ve got this energy field you’re dragging around that’s draining your energy and killing the possibility of living a happy fulfilling life in relationship~As long as you’re dragging around the past with all the drama and trauma, it doesn’t matter where you go or how good you look, you won’t be completely fulfilled.

You’ll learn much more about how to Make Space and Clearing Out the Old AND Seven more Secrets to Finding the Love of Your Dreams, when you get my FREE DVD called “7 Secrets to Finding the Love of Your Dreams” — Just go to www.loveofyourdreams.com

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